Life is not so easy ..... Its as difficult as we want it to be :D
Yes I have been completely... totally... utterly... confused .
I have been thinking a lot the past few days ...months(??!!) ...oh well probably a few years now ... and the thoughts change every few minutes ...No wonder I didn't blog for some time ...By the time I start writing, thoughts which seemed so significant would actually seem to be silly and the post would remain incomplete ..in draft state .
A lot of good things happened and many which I want to forget and get past , while I was missing in action here ....
I learnt driving ! YAY !!!! Nah let me correct that ...I started driving ! I leant how to drive ages ago :) I can now drive during peaks hours on the Bangalore road listening to music and feel as though I am driving through some countryside .
I got a good rating at work this time ;) Trust me it was so difficult sitting there in front of my manager listening to all the good things I had done over the year and that too on a video call ! I just hope my handsome manger didn't notice me turning red like a tomato .
For those who are new to this blog ..here's my epic battle
http://tangytomatotwist.blogspot.in/2013/03/true-story-wings-of-fire.html
And it was during this sabbatical from the blogging world that I realized , my son - Chochi , shares my dislike for Mathematics and Physics .... and my darling daughter Sushi is completely in love with the mirror ! Just like mom again :D
I also realized I was not only insecure about a lot many things , but in my attempt to be a strong woman , I neglected my sensitive side ... I let my insecurities and the desire to be strong take over me completely.... Of course there were moments when I got better of them ...but those moments were short lived .
In short life had taken a zig-zag course ... So while I was playing peek-a-boo with life and driving in my car across the outskirts of Bengaluru ....Did I mention above that I went ahead and brought the car one fine morning ...just like that... just to make myself independent :D ? and by the way I got a new tattoo also done ;) .... I know I am going all over the place ...but I AM so excited to be back ....
So where was I ? Yes ! I was driving across the outskirts when I saw this ....
It was a hot sunny afternoon .... But this graveyard brought a sense of peace ....It seemed as if everyone was resting peacefully after finishing their chores ....their duties .....resting peacefully after the marathon ... it was after a long time that I actually felt at peace with myself ..... It reminded me of days when I would sit under a tree with my friends in college and just chit chat . When the only worry was submission of next journal.
So what's life .... Isn't it just about living in the moment ? Taking things as they come ?
I don't know when the worry turned from submitting the journals to insecurity about kids future .... to companionship during old age ... to next EMI... that I forgot to live in the present. Why am I so worried about future ? Why do I doubt my kids capabilities ? Why do I want a promotion at work?
In the end finally I might be lying down next to an unknown person trying to find about him/her on a hot sunny afternoon . I might be just lying there watching an unknown person drive by trying to find the meaning of life ....
