Tuesday 8 November 2016

Life is easy ...errr kind of...isn't it ?

Life is not so easy ..... Its as difficult as we want it to be :D

Yes I have been completely... totally... utterly... confused . 

I have been thinking a lot the past few days ...months(??!!) ...oh well probably a few years now ... and the thoughts change every few minutes ...No wonder I didn't blog for some time ...By the time I start writing, thoughts which seemed so significant would actually seem to be silly and the post would remain incomplete ..in draft state .

A lot of good things happened and many which I want to forget and get past , while I was missing in action here ....

 I learnt driving ! YAY !!!! Nah let me correct that ...I started driving !  I leant how to drive ages ago :)  I can now drive during peaks hours on the Bangalore road listening to music and feel as though I am driving through some countryside .

I got a good rating at work this time ;)  Trust me it was so difficult sitting there in front of my manager listening to all the good things I had done over the year and that too on a video call ! I just hope my handsome manger didn't notice me turning red like a tomato .
For those who are new to this blog ..here's my epic battle
http://tangytomatotwist.blogspot.in/2013/03/true-story-wings-of-fire.html

And it was during this sabbatical from the blogging world that I realized , my son - Chochi ,  shares my dislike for Mathematics and Physics .... and my darling daughter Sushi is completely in love with the mirror ! Just like mom again :D

I also realized I was not only insecure about a lot many things , but in my attempt to be a strong woman , I neglected my sensitive side ... I let my insecurities and the desire to be strong take over me completely.... Of course there were moments when I got better of them ...but those moments were short lived .

In short life had taken a zig-zag course ... So while I was playing peek-a-boo with life and driving in my car across the outskirts of Bengaluru ....Did I mention above that I went ahead and brought the car one fine morning ...just like that... just to make myself independent  :D ? and by the way I got a new tattoo also done ;) .... I know I am going all over the place ...but I AM so excited to be back ....

So where was I ? Yes ! I was driving across the outskirts when I saw this ....






It was a hot sunny afternoon .... But this graveyard brought a sense of peace ....It seemed as if everyone was resting peacefully after finishing their chores ....their duties .....resting peacefully after the marathon ...  it was after a long time that I actually felt at peace with myself ..... It reminded me of days when I would sit under a tree with my friends in college and just chit chat . When the only worry was submission of next journal.

So what's life .... Isn't it just about living in the moment ?  Taking things as they come ?
I don't know when the worry turned from submitting the journals to insecurity about kids future .... to companionship during old age ... to next EMI... that I forgot to live in the present.  Why am I so worried about future ? Why do I doubt my kids capabilities ? Why do I want a promotion at work?
In the end finally I might be lying down next to an unknown person trying to find about him/her on a hot sunny afternoon . I might be just lying there watching an unknown person drive by trying to find the meaning of life ....



3 comments:

  1. Glad to see you back, Tangy:)
    Loved the great reflective, philosophical piece:)
    Yes, the life is here and now! Live the moment!
    Hope to see you more often:) God bless..

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  2. much Happy to see you back TTT... good blog to start again :) hoping to see you often..

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  3. Hiya Tangy,
    You've such a wonderful perspective on life and love as we know it. Would you be amenable to reading and reviewing a collection of short stories? Author Sharat Kumar has a collection of short stories coming out this time in January. In each of the 13 stories, uncovers the New Age woman and the chemistry between men and women in contemporary India. Whether spinning a yarn about an Army romance, or the affection between two divorcees; Kumar holds a mirror to how sparks fly.
    If you're interested, I'd love to provide a PDF of the upcoming book to be reviewed in your particular fun, free and fearless way. Just ping me back at the email address hritvick.dv(@)gmail dot com.

    Cheers, and keep blogging.
    Hritvick

    ReplyDelete